Genesis 28:8 And Esau seeing that the daughters of Canaan pleased not Isaac his father;

Esau had already married two Canaanite women. Esau observes that his father and mother send Jacob away so that he will marry a woman who is not a Canaanite. Esau realizes that his parents are not pleased with his previous selections in wives and so he goes out and marries another woman. This time Esau marries a daughter of Ishmael which he assumes his parents will accept.

Esau realized that his parents were not pleased with his initial selection in a wife so he goes out and marries a third wife without seeking his parent’s blessing. Isaac and Rebekah were involved in the selection of a wife for Jacob. They evidently knew that Laban had a couple of daughters and they felt that one of the daughters would be a suitable helpmate for Jacob. Jacob was not seeking for a wife, but his parents knew that he was ready for a wife and who would be a good choice.

Esau just went out and responded as he wished when he wished. Esau did not seek counsel and he simply hoped that his choices would be approved by others. If his choices were not acceptable, Esau simply kept trying hoping that eventually he would please others.

Scripture tells us in a multitude of counselors there is safety. Jacob had the safety in knowing that he had his parent’s blessings to marry one of the daughters of Laban. Esau because he did not seek the counsel of his parents had to hold his breath to see if his choices were satisfactory. God had given Esau parents to help be his counselor but Esau chose to ignore his God given counselors so that he could do what he wanted when he wanted to do it.

God has put certain people into your life to help guide you in the way you are to go. When you ignore those who God has given you to help you, you are going to put yourself in a position that you are going to do great harm. One of the important things that you must understand is who is a wise counselor given to you by God and who is an unwise counselor who is set to lead you astray?

Rehoboam is just one example we have in scripture who had a choice in whose counsel he was going to follow. God had given him some wise counselors who if he had obeyed would have directed him in a way to build and establish his kingdom. However, Rehoboam choice to listen to the smooth words of his close friends and as a result he lost most of his kingdom and he lost all that he was trying to gain.

Esau and Rehoboam are both examples of men who were more concerned with what they could get out of the world than they were about their relationship with God. These men had the options to make some wise decisions but instead, they chose to trust in their own power and might. Because these men refused to demonstrate self-control on their passions and desires, they ended up not pleasing anyone but themselves. They were trying to gain the attention of others, but in reality, the only person they really pleased was themselves.

Until you start adding temperance to your life and stop listening to your own mind and allow God to guide you through the counselors HE has given you, you will be prone to make the same mistakes. Temperance enables you to put aside your own will so that God can lead you in ways that you never imagined. As long as you are sure that you can see the solution to your own problems, you will never be able to live your life in a manner that is pleasing to God.

Proverbs 19:14 House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Isaac inherited all the riches of his father Abraham. Isaac did not have to work to obtain that which his father had already earned. Abraham had other children whom he gave a small inheritance to, but to Isaac, Abraham gave most of everything that he had. While Isaac obtained, wealth, tents, and servants from his father it was the Lord who brought him his wife Rebekah. Isaac obtained riches because of who is father was, but the wife he received was the result of the prayers of one of the servants.

Rebekah may not have been raised the same as Isaac; she was not almost killed by her father on an altar. However, Rebekah understood who God is and when God enabled her to conceive and she was having trouble with the pregnancy, she turned to God and asked HIM to show her what the problem was.

As you study the scriptures and read the stories of those who were unable to have children, you see impatience. These women did not want to wait anymore and some of them like Sarah and Rachel tried to have children using segregate mothers. However, with Rebekah, we do not see the same impatience. Scripture gives us very little details about how long Rebekah was unable to have children. All we know is that she was able to conceive once and that was after the prayers of Isaac.

Rebekah was a wise woman who understood that God had performed a miracle by allowing Abraham and Sarah to conceive Isaac in their old age. She had probably been told that through Isaac, God was going to make a great nation. While Rebekah could not conceive, she was not quick to go find ways for God to do his job, instead, she trusted in God and saw God fulfill the desires of her heart. Isaac may have obtained great wealth from his father, but the wife that he received was given to him by God. God arranged things so that Isaac and Rebekah were married.

There are some things that you can inherit from your parents. Solomon obtained a kingdom, great wealth, and a vision from his father. However, Solomon was not wise when it came to selecting a wife for himself. Solomon did not turn to God and allow God to show him the woman who God desired for him to marry. Because Solomon did not marry properly, the women that he married turned his heart away from the Lord.

Solomon obtained a lot from his father, but when he chose to marry, he made the decision of his own accord. How much different would the reign of Solomon and the nation of Israel have been had he simply gone to the Lord and allowed God to show him the woman whom HE desired to be his wife. Solomon trusted the Lord for wisdom to rule the people but he could not relinquish to God the choice of who his wife was to be.

Whether you are married or single, you need to trust God to direct you in the way that you are to go. Of your own strength, you cannot make the wisest decisions. God has certain people that he would like to bring into your life to help guide you and cause you to draw closer to God. However, if you act like you are in charge of your life, you will be the one who suffers. You need to take the time to add knowledge of the ways of God so that you have a better understand of how God is using others in your life to draw you closer to HIM.

Proverb 31:15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

The fifth manifestation of virtue that Solomon was to look for in a woman he desired to marry was diligence. Solomon was instructed to examine the evidences of a young ladies life to ensure that her life demonstrated that she was virtuous. The virtuous woman will demonstrate a desire to serve rather then be served. The virtuous woman will demonstrate a desire to be productive rather then be lazy.

This virtuous woman that Solomon was to look for could have stayed in bed and allowed her maidens to give her meat. However, Solomon was to look for the woman who demonstrated virtue through her actions of being diligent. Her actions needed to demonstrate that she was not a sluggard but a diligent woman. Solomon was not just looking for a wife, but he was looking for a helpmate, a helpmate who could assist him in fulfilling God’s calling for his life. If she demonstrated a desire to work, serve, and to stay busy, then those characteristics probably would not change and Solomon would have found someone who would make a good spouse.

If virtue is in your heart and mind, there is no room for you to be a sluggard. When you add virtue to your life, you put on the mind of Christ and it becomes your desire to put the things of God first in your life. If the things of God are truly first in your life, you will never have enough hours in the day to do all the things you need to do.

Can you imagine a solider who refuses to prepare his weapon, who refuses to stand watch, who does not drill, and who refuses to do anything for others but insists that everyone serves him. Such a solider would not last very long on the battlefield because he would not be prepared and because there would be no loyalty among his fellow soldiers to watch his back. Such a soldier is doomed for failure.

Whether you are looking for a spouse or looking for a good friend, one of the outward manifestations of virtue that you should look for in their life is diligence. If the other individual is not diligent, then you should be alerted to the fact that there might be a significant character deficiency that will eventually manifest itself in the relationship.

Why would you want to make a close relationship with a person who had no desire to work? Every relationship at one point of time is going to go through a situation that puts that relationship on trial. If one party is a slothful individual who does not demonstrate diligence in their life, what makes you think that they will be willing to fight to ensure that the relationship remains? What makes you think that they will work with you to assist you in overcoming the trials that you face in your own life?

Solomon was not looking for a woman who able to cook. Solomon could hire a cook anytime he wanted. Solomon was looking for actions that demonstrated that the woman was virtuous and thus ensure that the relationship would work. You cannot read a persons mind to see if their thoughts are upon God, but you can look at their actions and see if their actions conform to a lifestyle that is pleasing to God. Diligence is just one characteristic that should be evident in you if virtue is in your life.

Judges 16:17 That he told her all his heart, and said unto her, There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother’s womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall be like any other man.

Delilah had been offered a lot of money if she could figure out the source of Samson’s faith and make him weak. Delilah on three other occasions had asked Samson’s the source of his strength and Samson told Delilah a lie. Finally, Delilah wore Samson down and he told her the source of his strength. Delilah knew that he had told her the source and she informed the Philistines to bring their money for she was going to deliver Samson to them. Delilah shaved Samson’s hair and then watched the Philistines take him away. The Philistines put out his eyes and put him in prison.

Samson made the mistake of telling the wrong person something God had shared with him. Samson told Delilah who had no desire to help and support Samson in his duty to God the source of his ability to do God’s work. Delilah used the inside information not to help Samson but to bring him down. Samson did not have to tell Delilah his secret, but he did because he loved his relationship with Delilah more then he desired to serve God.

Samson had already been betrayed once when he told his Philistine wife the answer to the riddle and she told her fellow countrymen. He should have been more careful when telling Delilah the source of his strength. He had a duty to serve God, and he should have realized that Delilah did not really care about Samson destroying the Philistines and delivering Israel. Since Delilah was not interested in a similar calling, Samson had no right sharing special truths that God had given him to someone who was not going to help him fulfill God’s purpose for his life.

Samson had a calling from God and if he was looking for a wife she should have had a similar calling so as to support him. Samson’s calling was to deliver Israel from the Philistines, by looking for love among the Philistine women; Samson was showing his lack of faith by putting himself in a compromising situation. Samson did compromise by telling things that God had shared with him to Delilah.

Not ever deep spiritual truth or word from the Lord needs to be shared with everyone. Jesus commanded you that you should not cast your pearls before swine. Just because God has shared something exciting and new with you, it does not mean that you can rush out and tell everyone what the Lord is doing. Instead, you must be judicious in whom you share deep spiritual truths with. You have an obligation to God to determine if the person you are sharing with has a similar heart for the Lord and whether they will rejoice with you and encourage you to do what the Lord has said. If you do cast great spiritual pearls before swine, then Satan may be able to bring you down as he brought Samson down.

You have an obligation to God to be careful about what you share. You do not have a duty to share everything with everyone. The world does not have a right to know everything about you. By faith you will be slow to answer when you start to share the deeper direction of God. You can share the things that God has done for you, but you must be careful when you start sharing the Lord’s direction and guidance to others. First discover whether the person you are sharing with desires to encourage or destroy you.