Ephesians 5:31 – TWO SHALL BE ONE FLESH
Ephesians 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
This passage is the third time in the scriptures where God gives us HIS instructions towards marriage. Genesis 2:24 states “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” In Matthew 19:5, Jesus said, “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?” Just so no one is confused, God makes it abundantly clear that the man is to leave his family and that the new couple in the eyes of God are no longer two individuals but one.
It is easier to say that a husband and wife are one flesh then it is to live as one flesh? Why do you think there are so many divorces? A couple will divorce when they have put their own needs and their own agenda above the needs of their spouse. A couple who actively seeks to put their spouse above themselves will not need to get a divorce.
Too often, even Christian couples never fully understand the concept of being one flesh. There is no way in the world that they would ever take a knife and stab it into their heart; yet that is exactly what they do with their tongue to their spouse. Rather than look for ways that they can build the marriage, they instead seek what is best for themselves. Because they do not actively seek to put the needs of their spouse above themselves, they soon find that the in-love experience that they thought would last forever has diminished.
In order to continue living as one flesh, the couple must learn to put the needs of their spouse first. As they learn to seek to meet the needs of their spouse, as they learn to communicate love in a manner that is understood and appreciated by their spouse, and as they learn to yield their rights to do what they want, then they will have started on the path of what God means when HE says that the two shall become one flesh.
Prior to marriage, a man is usually pretty independent. He has probably made some choices as to the type of work that he is doing and maybe even where he is going to live. Most likely, the man is no longer in a position like he was as a child where his parents are making decisions for him. However, things must change once the young man decides to be joined with a woman. The young man must leave that life that he is comfortable with and start pursuing a new life with his spouse. The man must leave his independence in order to receive the blessing on oneness that God has for him.
In order to live a life in a oneness of flesh, a man and a woman must yield their rights to do what they want. They must exercise self-control to ensure that they do not do something that harms the other. Christ had commanded us that we are to love our enemies. In order to love your enemy, one must make a conscience choice to do something that seems unnatural. In those cases, love is a choice that must be made regardless of the circumstances around you. How much more important will it be for a couple to make a choice to love even when one does not desire to love?
A couple must add temperance to their life so that they put aside their own selfish ambitions in order to pursue the desires and needs of their spouse. Most marriage troubles would never exist if each of the spouses made a conscience decision to seek to put the needs of their spouse above their own selfish desires. A oneness of